Is this Miracle touch massage really a miracle?

Let's be honest, we've all found ourselves going down that rabbit hole of endless scrolling on social media, coming across the same content over and over again. A gorgeous couple in matching outfits draped on a manicured lawn with a cheese platter. A group of synchronised Tik Tok dancers reminding us we last fist-pumped when NSYNC waved bye-bye-bye. A parrot driving Malibu Barbie's Corvette. You get my drift. 

Recently, just as I was to log off and conserve my remaining brain cells, I came across an incredible before and after photo of a woman's abdomen. It appeared as though through some magicians massage technique, she had utterly sculpted her torso and I needed to know more.

What is it?

After further inspection, I discovered the technique was called the Renata França Method. Known as the woman who has revolutionised the world of massage, the Renata França Miracle Touch massage includes manoeuvres, rhythm, pumping and pressure, which yields more effective results than traditional lymphatic massage. This unique technique combines the benefits of sculpting with a lymphatic drainage massage claiming to contour the silhouette by reducing water retention, eliminating toxins and transforming the texture of the skin with visible results after the first session.

This is a mixture of exclusive manoeuvres applied in the lymphatic drainage and the shaping massages as conceived by the Renata França method. It works like an immediate manual liposculpture that ensures skin uniformity and enhances muscle definition. Its unique touch reduces measures and swelling and transforms skin texture with results that are visible in the first session. Continuous treatment using this technique ensures a perfect silhouette and a highly modelled body. - Renata Franca Spa

The Treatment

On the verge of resembling a glowing seal, round in the middle and tapered at the ends; the time to act was now. After further research, I came across a pupil of Renata who offers home visits. Jeane Instagram: @jeanemarinhobeautician took one look at my swollen ankles, and a small smile took over her face. She set up her massage table and went to work on my body using a combination of long gentle, rhythmic strokes followed by rapid movement guiding the excess water to be drained naturally by the lymphatic system. 

As I heard the water moving, really I did, I settled into the treatment which was quite soothing and relaxing. After it was over, I looked in the mirror, and this toned version of my former self utterly shocked me. I declared to Jeane that she must never leave my side and perhaps she should be a bridesmaid in my imaginary wedding. 

After Treatment

The effects are said to last for up to 48 hours if one can avoid alcohol and excess salt. Or as Jeane said, "don't abuse the salt"; its almost like she's known me all my life. This is an excellent treatment for right before a big event or after a long haul flight. I will certainly be incorporating one monthly as a detox. 

Jeane's Tips 

Prop your legs up against a wall and back on the floor, forming an "L" shape to promote circulation. Also, drinking Dandelion tea reduces excess water weight, who knew?

The Verdict

Take all my money. 

Check out https://sparenatafranca.com/en/ for a therapist near you.